Is this the relationship you want? We all have to establish boundaries, but it appears your boundaries are different than those of your wife. How much resentment do you think she is going to harbor against you, when her son stops coming over? Maybe you could bring out the vacuum when he’s getting ready to leave and say, “Hey, would you mind helping me clean up after the dogs?” before he leaves and still make him feel welcome? I sure wouldn’t want to push one of our children away when my wife does not share my concern … she is a great shot and has access to a lot of guns; I’d much rather keep the peace. What say you?


SHE SAID: I love dogs, the bigger the better, but I still am going to side with you on this one. Even the most well-mannered, well-trained, clean dog is still a dog. We dog owners tolerate the drool, the hair, and the mud…even the occasional accident, but non-owners shouldn’t have to. 

When you tell your son to leave his dogs at home, or take them to a kennel, what does he say? I’m thinking that if he is just simply ignoring a well articulated request on your part, that’s just disrespectful, and that is so much more than just about dog hair. In this case, I would hold my ground, but I would still try and talk to him about why he feels it is necessary to ignore your wishes. 

(Editor’s note: Mr. and Mrs. Smith were both career Soldiers with a combined history of military service spanning over a half of a century. They have been where you are, so if you are facing a difficult situation, ask them. Send your question to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . The opinions expressed in this column are those of the writers and not necessarily those of the Fort Leonard Wood Public Affairs Office or the GUIDON.)