By Chap. (Lt. Col.) Michael King
Special to GUIDON

We recently ended the normal heavy marriage season (summer) and, likely, others have started to line up to schedule their happy day for next summer.  

Chaplains often meet people who want to marry, but who have not really thought through getting married. The couple usually spends more time preparing for the wedding and little time actually preparing for the marriage.

What do you need to consider before you ‘take the plunge’ into marriage?

 The Apostle Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 7:1 “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” What? Men, we all know that touching leads to more touching. We like touch, because that is how God wired us…to enjoy a physical relationship. Paul warns against touch, because touch confuses our senses into thinking we have a deeper relationship than we actually have.

Most relationships start quickly with a physical relationship…for some, the relationship is only physical (as if the other person is merely a toy). Those types of relationships are usually self-focused and not other focused. Our goal in a relationship should be to give more than we receive.  

Paul, once again, helps us with our selfishness; this time in Ephesians 5:28, “so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.” When we cease to be self-focused, our desires change to meeting the needs of our spouse or partner and not demanding that they meet our needs. When both parties endeavor to meet the needs of the other, then the needs of both get met.

What do we need in a relationship? We need God in our relationship.  

Ecclesiastes 4:11-12 reminds us “if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

 We can accomplish more together than we can separate, and when we include God in our relationship, we are unbeatable. Often, the preacher is the last item on the list of wedding preparations. For many, God is not even on the list.

Put God first in your relationship, keep the physical to an extreme minimum, and learn to give more than you receive. These establish the baseline for the relationship.

(Editor’s note: King is the community chaplain.)