By Chap. (Maj.) David Cerutti
Special to GUIDON

Proverbs 22:6 says: Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. — NIV. Point your kid in the right direction — when they’re old they won’t be lost. — Message

Parents face this challenge.  Military life is so fast paced that before we know it a child is grown. As a parent I can attest to this.  

Parents train up their child when they are young. We help our child move from total dependence on us to independence. Also, we help children move from being controlled to controlling themselves. 

Diana Baumrind, developmental psychologist, is generally quoted when discussing parenting styles. They have been divided into four types: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved.

Let’s take a closer look at these four parenting styles.

Authoritarian parenting styles can be very rigid and strict. An authoritarian parent demands obedience and usually results in punishment if rules are not followed. These parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules with “because I said so.”  

Authoritative parents are both demanding and responsive. Authoritative parents expect obedience, but don’t impose their authority and welcome a certain amount of questioning. Research shows that this style is most beneficial when parenting.  

Permissive parents are generally lenient. They let a child look after them self and avoid confronting them at all costs. These parents are described as non-directive. They tend to offer little if any punishment or rules.  

Uninvolved parents are often emotionally absent and sometimes even physically absent. They have little or no expectations of a child and regularly have no communication. They typically do not respond to their child’s needs.

Dr. John Gottman defines parenting styles as the way parents react and respond to their children’s emotions. Parenting takes a lot of skill and patience. Parenting strategies play a significant role in a child’s development. Parenting has been correctly identified as the most difficult job on earth. A child does not come with instruction books.

Parents have a tremendous challenge raising children. Parents have the awesome responsibility to help the child move to independence. Proverbs 22:6 provides direction and a goal to parents: to set their children on a path to being productive adults.

(Editor’s note: This is the first of a two-part series. Cerutti is the Family Life chaplain.)