He Said, She Said: Staff disgusted by co-worker’s behavior Print E-mail
Thursday, 30 July 2015
By Shaun and  Pamela Collins
Special to GUIDON
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I work with a woman who is always on the make. She isn’t a young woman, but to hear her talk you would think she was a teenager. She is single and flirts with every married man that walks into our office. She ignores any single guys, because she says who she just wants “no strings attached sex.”

I know that she sees several of them on the side and has no problem telling me and my other co-worker of her lunchtime sexual conquests with her “dates.” I have repeatedly told her that her actions are really unprofessional, and the other co-worker has threatened to go to Equal Opportunity on her.  

Regardless of our actions, she continues to be very promiscuous. It is so bad that we have men coming to the office asking for her, when told she is off for the day or TDY, they just leave. While her actions really don’t affect our workload, it does make for the occasional awkward situation. Should I elevate the issue, or just keep my mouth shut?



HE SAID:  Unfortunately, I have known several people like this and I don’t know if it is an indictment of me or not, but I have never reported it unless it was an abuse of their power or if it was impacting the organization.  

In nearly all cases, I simply extricated myself from any discussions of their exploits and in some cases asked them to please leave me out of any such discussions.  In retrospect I really should have done more than I did.  

There are many forums for single people to find “no-strings-attached” relationships, if that is truly all she wants. The fact that this is clearly a pattern of behavior within the workplace tells me this is a time bomb waiting to explode, especially if she is a leader in any way, shape or form.  

It has no place in our workforce and will eventually bite her back. If she had a brain, she would listen and take her escapades elsewhere, she is living on borrowed time, it will catch up with her.  The question is, how many other lives will be affected when it does.  

If she won’t listen to you, someone, maybe you, will report her behavior and it will not be pretty.  Several former military general officers can attest to this, and I think most of them wished someone had addressed it with them before it took away their careers and hurt a lot of Families.    



SHE SAID:  She has been warned that you or her other co-workers would escalate this issue if she did not stop behaving inappropriately at work, and she continues to do so.  I would say she has been put on notice, and I would report it to EEO.  

This not only gives her a bad reputation, but it is disruptive and taints the entire organization.  She can behave this way off duty, away from her place of work, and it’s really not anyone else’s business; however, when she rubs your face in it, she makes it your business. Make that call today.

(Editor’s note: Shaun and Pamela Collins were both career Soldiers with a combined history of military service spanning over a half of a century. They have been where you are, so if you are facing a difficult situation, ask them. Send your question to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it This column and other original content from Mr. and Mrs. Collins can be found at http://militarysuccessnetwork.com. The opinions expressed are those of the writers and not necessarily those of the Fort Leonard Wood Public Affairs Office or the GUIDON.)
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 12 August 2015 )